I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Randomize
