some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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