i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
