i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
then he tried to convert me to islam
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize