Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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