It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
