Dual....:-)
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize