He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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