what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
