i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
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You. Win. At. Life.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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