i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Randomize
