Three words: puerto rican gang bang
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
He? As in you personified your dick?
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
