she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
