We should be called the Road Head Warriors
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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