I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
So many bounce houses so little time
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Randomize
