This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize
