he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
