How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
