you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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