I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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