every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
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