Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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