so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
