he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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