i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
