Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
You pole danced in your parka.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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