I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Randomize
