love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
she looked like the before picture.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
