in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
even my farts smell like vagina
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
