Midget sex pt 2 tonight
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
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