okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
