i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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