using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
