there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
