i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
