Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
