Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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