I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
Quick, to the slutcave!
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
