my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
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