dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
