I wish I only lived at night.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
We are all done wearing pants today
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
