i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
