your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
