Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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