I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Oh god it's open bar.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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