I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
