we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
