but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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