We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize