I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Randomize
