For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize
