so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
