How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
