WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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