the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
