ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I smell like Dick and happiness
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
