Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Randomize