You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
