If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
