I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
