Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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