my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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