I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
It's blow job season.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I need a beard to bite.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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