Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize