can we get nightvision for the apartment?
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Even the bartender felt bad for me
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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