You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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